I am going to ruffle a lot of feathers but I am ready for the debate.
Question: Do you accept gifts from individuals you aren't interested in? Does accepting said gifts send the wrong message?
Answer: Yes, you can accept a gift from someone you are not interested in and not send a wrong message, nor feel obligated to reciprocate. With proper communication, there should be no issue with the wrong message being sent.
In my humble opinion, it is one's free will to give a gift. If you are gift-giving and expect something in return, did you really give a gift, or you were hoping for some kind of business exchange? When you GIVE you GIVE freely, without the intention of getting anything in return. It is up to the receiving party to decide if they want to reciprocate that energy or not.
However, the reality of the situation is, we live in a corrupt and unjust society. So as sweet as that may sound, it is unlikely.
It's unfortunate that we as women have to take these extra precautions or side-eye things that are given to us because of people's entitlement (specifically the kind of men who expect something in return). It's a sad truth that we have to worry about people inflicting harm on us because we accept gifts or aid. I wish the world was in perfect harmony and we all could stand on one idea and agree, but unfortunately in the real world, it is full of corruption, perversion, greed, and selfishness to advance one's own personal agenda, with no regard to others.
No one is obligated to do anything for the other, and when someone wants to go out of their way for someone else that is their choice. If a woman makes it very clear she is not interested but a man continues to give gifts and do these acts of services, he is doing that of his own free will. That does not mean you are entitled to any form of reciprocity, but unfortunately, many people believe this to be true, and that is how people get hurt. Women are forced to be taught that you don't accept anything from another individual without questioning their intentions or motives.
It really grinds my gears! When did taking gifts from the opposite gender insinuate more than a simple act of kindness? When did this sense of entitlement become a thing? And then people have the audacity to believe that a certain situation is justifiable or comments such as “you should have known that would happen” are slurred, just because you accepted a kind gesture.
As humans, we need to take accountability for our own actions and own up to them. If YOU want to give someone something, it should be just that. Give with no intention or intent of receiving anything back. Take accountability for yourself! Women shouldn’t have to live in fear or worry. That is on you to make the decision to not invest your time or efforts into this person because they are clearly not interested.
Don't be that guy.
How do you feel about the topic? Are you accepting gifts? Men, are you giving gifts without having ulterior motives?
Lets chat! For more thoughts on this topic, and the video that sparked this conversation, check out my latest upload on my YouTube channel!